Rob Cesternino is humbled

[Rob Cesternino]

First we start with some celebratory gifs

     

I don't really know what I am celebrating   I just voluntarily voted out my best chance at changing the course of the game in any way. And the funny, sad, frustrating, ironic thing is, the hosts posting the results early may have sealed this. See when Siska made a huge thing about "Oh gosh
 hey im so lost as to what to do" before the votes were due and he went and told Amber that the real vote was a split between Amber and I. To follow up Amber confronted everyone about this in the blast chat  Then Amber came to us to ask what's happening. I offered a sincere last minute hail mary that Siska, Amber, Corinne and I + the Katana can vote for whoever we want. What's to lose. Before I could even talk to Siska and Corinne, the hosts put the final nail in the coffin of any shift of power happening. Now at the time, it was a risky move and I fully expected it to amount to nothing and maybe end up in me going home. But looking at the votes, my guess is it was divided like so

Amber - Abi
Coach, Alex - Rob
PG, Eliza, Baylor, Siska, Corinne, Rob, Abi - Amber

But if we pulled off the hail mary

Coach, Alex - Rob
PG, Eliza, Baylor, Abi - Amber
Siska, Rob, Corinne, Amber + Katana - Coach/Alex/Baylor/Abi anyone. Probably Coach . FUCK. ME. Oh that would have been fucking delicious. Even if that meant death knell at 9 because very likely that the 5 people left band together again and just vote me off next. But holy fuckity fuck what a missed opportunity.  *head desk*

And now this next challenge.  If i didn't know any better, I'd say these challenges are tailor made to make sure that someone from the majority alliance wins  Just kidding of course. Still doesn't change the fact that Corinne and I have roughly 0% chance of winning. Speaking of 0% chance of winning, I am curious if the powers at be will put Abi as the obvious choice for bad answers. I don't know if they would want to appease her for longer. I can see that. 

Till now PG had a reason to save me. But she totally led me on to think it will be a close vote and implied that she needed me and Corinne to vote for Amber. In all likelihood she just wanted to avoid the possibility of said hail mary because she knew she would be the target. She has played me beautifully and I don't know if I have it in me to put together any sort of counter attack. Sigh. 

[Rob Cesternino]

SMH. I have been an idiot. And blind. I have been a blind idiot.

Useful information is so hard to come by in this game. For me. Ever since the merge, all the intel I have been fed has been as useless as dried up hay stacks. First off I was fed BS by Abi about the vote being Amber. Then I was fed BS by ... Abi again about the vote being split between Fairplay and I on account of paranoia about Fairplay having an idol. At least that time around I knew she was lying to me. What I didn't know, and still don't, is whether or not Abi actually bought into that BS which she was fed by someone else or that she thought she could BS me and I wouldn't pick up on it. The fact that Abi came to Corinne and claimed no one in her alliance was talking to her, she feels paranoid that it will be her next and that Abi completely misconstrued what Corinne said leads me to believe the former is true and that Abi actually doesn't know where the idol is. But, I don't know how I can use this information to my advantage.

Next we have Siska. I constantly question my judgement of Siska. But he proved during last Tribal that he earnestly wants to work with Corinne and I and just feels like he is being used by "the other side". Siska also shed light on the most important thing that shocked me into the realization of how truly and completely outplayed I have been in this game. Siska shared with me that it was PG and Eliza who brought up the plan to split the votes in the first place. While PG is telling me "people want me out". Siska also said that PG and Eliza are pretty much the only people who talk to him. What I would have gathered from this is that, for now, PG and Eliza are kind of head honchos and they handle communications between the alliance members. But there is no way for me to actually confirm this. Like I have stated before, the dynamics between Coach-Alex-Baylor are a complete black box to me. Do I then assume that this is true? PG and Eliza have masterfully kept all of these people connected only to themselves. Not only these people but us "Outcast Losers" as well. PG and Eliza are the only people I even remotely discuss the game with. AFAIK same is the case with Corinne. And Siska. I told Siska that our options at the moment are unclear. he told me we should try and talk to Coach. I nudged him to do the talking with Coach because I am unsure how much and what Coach will share with me.

But what if? What if this lack of communication is fueled by something else? What if in reality this is because Coach-Alex-Baylor are the tight ones. I am operating under the assumption that Abi is under Coach's protection and he can steer her vote with the promise of keeping her safe. That would mean PG ad Eliza are doomed at 6. That would give credence to the fact that PG is so intent on "saving" me. Because she is convinced I wouldn't turn on her. I promised to never vote against her in this game. And this is why PG and Eliza have kept Siska in their good graces. Because they need him too. Is it possible that PG and Eliza want to  ensure their survival by putting faith in Corinne and I along with Siska to take out Abi next? With Abi gone the trio of Coach, Baylor and Alex are at the mercy of PG, Eliza and their new found "minions". This particular scenario would be a dream come true but there is so much doubt in my mind about this being even remotely plausible.

Now to counter this, what is needed are conversations. Conversations with Coach, Alex, Baylor and Abi. Where at least something useful is learned. But as is painfully clear, I can't get these people to open up to me. Chalk that up to my weak conversation skills, my standing in the game and my past association with Fairplay. To that end Corinne and I decided that we would make genuine efforts to talk with Coach, Alex and Baylor. Corinne approached Coach and I approached Alex and Baylor. Baylor hasn't replied to me yet. Alex is at least willing to engage in idle chit chat. I did try and bring up more and more game talk, little by little. But the only semi-important thing I was able to get was a.) The Rupert vote was not a surprise to him and he claims that my name was never brought up. Hmmmmmm and b.) Alex knew that Fairplay had thrown Eliza's name out there. Now this little tidbit might mean nothing. But my belief is that Alex was told of this by either Coach or Abi. I am leaning more towards Coach because then that would mean Coach and Alex have some sort of a working relationship and also helps fit this little nugget of information into the big picture.

"will insert chat between Coach and Corinne here later"

Ah the idol. So much paranoia and uncertainty and scurrying about because of this idol. Until yesterday night I thought for sure I knew that the idol is with either Alex or Baylor. Leaning more towards Alex because Baylor has a Wasen or some other funky named thing which is a challenge advantage in an IC of her choosing. And so Coach not being worried about the idol made Corinne think he is aligned with the person who has it. Since Coach mentioned he thinks Alex or Siska has it, and we know Siska doesn't have it, we would assume Alex has it. Because Coach won't expect Siska is tight with Corinne and I. Or will he? Something Abi had said during the previous round comes to mind. Abi offered to flip to Corinne asking if Siska/Amber are willing to vote with us we could "make something happen". But that may have just been grouping people who didn't vote in the majority at the first merge vote. Arggggghhhhhh. So many possibilities. *shakes head* where were we? Oh yes. Would Coach, who presumably knows where the idol is throw the name of the guy who actually has it even as a possibility to some one he is not aligned with? Why would he do that? Why risk it? And in the same conversation he retorts that a "power play" would be to target one of the "big PG people". Classic misdirection would tell that Coach is actually aligned with PG and by extension Eliza. That would mean my original theory of PG and Eliza being in control has some validity in that they have made Coach feel like he is #3 with them and they have made Alex and Baylor feel like Fuji 4 = Final 4. This is in line with some info I had heard from someone how Coach "likes" PG and Eliza and won't go against them. But if this is truly the case, and that would imply PG does have the idol, why bother trying to make me feel comfortable? She has on repeated occasions said she is afraid of the idol and is also afraid people think she has it. And has even asked me whether Corinne has it. Why would anyone do that? Why would someone who is holding onto the idol put on such a facade with someone on the outs that they don't have it? Is it just to make sure said person doesn't try and rally people who are potentially on the bottom of this "6-person alliance" against the idol holder? Because PG doesn't know for sure that I don't talk to Alex, Baylor or Coach and she has emphatically insisted I do not try and talk to Abi and/or let her know me and PG talk about the game. Is this just her way of subtly maintaining control over who talks to whom? *rips hair out* I don't  know what to believe anymore I might have a melt down thinking about what's real and what is a figment of my overly theorizing teeny little brain.

*deep breath* alright. Instead of looking back, why not look ahead. We are at F9. Only 3 more "easy" votes left. I assume at this point the boot order for some people would be Rob-9, Corinne-8, Siska-7. If I am to put my faith in PG, I believe she can change that to Corinne-9, Rob-8, Siska-7. The only thing that can drastically change that and that I can hope for is that PG really and truly does not have the idol. I had suggested to her before the Amber vote what my thoughts were if I were to make it past the F10TC. I had proposed that if PG has 2 solid allies, neither of whom have the idol, Corinne and I along with PG + 2 can pile votes onto the 1 person who neither has the idol nor will have one played on her. That would be Abi. That would bring the numbers down to 8 and it would mean either x or y or z has the idol. In which case we can use a little 3-shell game-esque misdirection and flush the idol while simultaneously taking another person out of x or y or z out. But I haven't heard from her after the TC about that particular proposal. So in all likelihood she was just humoring me and now that Amber('s katana) is gone, I am 100% disposable. So my other alternative is to establish a rapport with someone else. Maybe Alex. And offer him the same deal. But once again I come back to the same dilemma. How do I know that Alex doesn't have the idol. Or isn't aligned with the person who does.

SMH. Like I said. Blind idiot. Grasping at straws of useless stacks of hay. I am less than irrelevant at the moment and that makes me so sad. Hopefully things will change and I may yet live to see another day. But once again, that is all but out of my own hands.

[Rob Cesternino]

Alrighty. Another Tribal Council looms. Another castaway heads to his/her doom. After the IC results I tried to understand the workings of this tribe. So my assumptions as far as alliances, sub-alliances go like this

• Siska is the odd duck out from the original Fujis. His fate in the game, like my own, is not in his hands
  
• Eliza/PG are tighter than I originally thought and apparently everyone knows it. 
• Alex is not a floater Getting 18 answers correct is mighty impressive. My guess is he is tight with Coach and maybe Baylor. At this point I have to believe one of the three of them has the idol.
  
• Corinne and I are not the only people annoyed by Abi.
• I have a chance to survive yet another tribal

That last point is a result of various things. Firstly, Corinne is viewed as a "villain" and she has also won a couple ICs. Any decent strategic group would want to take someone like that out over a "floater" like me. Coupled that with my brief convo with PG who skirted around the questions about the vote but said she thinks I am not in danger, I am inclined to believe it is Corinne next. I made a couple of pitches to PG. First off, I brought up the idol again and she denied having it again. So I suggested the simplest play of using me and Corinne's votes along with 3 of her allies to make it 3-3-3. Now I know, or at least believe, that PG has some sway over Eliza's and Siska's votes. So I was hoping she had one more person she was close to and that would help in flushing the idol. She seemed to at least consider this and asked, "If we do this, then what" to which I said "Its up to you. Corinne and I are sitting ducks anyway". But she shot it down by saying she doesn't think enough people would agree to that. I am not sure if my sorta shady response made her feel uneasy??? Then I altered it slightly by saying if she had 2 allies then we could pile 5 votes on Abi. I chose Abi because there is very little possibility of someone playing an idol on Abi at F9. But she shot that down too saying people aren't going to want to stir shit up so soon. This I can understand because it is definitely too soon for her to raise a storm like this with the idol still in play. So that was that.

Still it could be me going. I haven't had a chance to ask Siska whose name he has heard and I can't bring myself to talk to Abi and Coach. Mainly because I may lose my composure with either of them even though they have indeed outplayed me. Especially Coach. I would very much like to have just a "no hard feelings" talk with Coach because he handled the chat with Corinne in as classy a way as he could. At this moment I don't even have any animosity towards Abi but that might change if I talk to her.

At the end of the day I know my game has been very weak. I feel like while I made a genuine effort with some people like PG, Eliza, Abi (pre-merge), Corinne, Fairplay, to a lesser extent Siska and Amber, I nearly ignored Coach, Baylor and Alex. And seeing as they make up almost half of the majority, maybe more given Abi is with Coach, that resulted in me being completely on the outs and being at the mercy of others. Still, made it this far and I will go into the jury looking forward to how things shake out. 

[Rob Cesternino]

I hate this. I just cast my vote against Corinne after she said she wouldn't vote against me even though she wa told to do so by Coach . And I am so disappointed in myself to not have the strength to return the favor. Only because somewhere, in the back of my mind, I think this will help me inch closer to the end. My heart says this won't matter. And all I am doing is throwing away the trust and respect of someone who I adore. I'm such a two-faced ass. I can't admit to myself that I am just a greedy person who will do whatever is best for him. *buries face in hands and shakes head* I officially hate this game as of now. A justified and swift karma would be if I end up going out anyway because Abi and Corinne are talking. If Corinne tells Abi that I have been talking with PG, this might get relayed back to PG, who will probably switch the vote to me. Corinne claims she laid it all out for Abi and is waiting on a reply. With a little over 2 hours left, all this last minute scrambling might make this an interesting vote but with a likely tragic outcome.

[Rob Cesternino]

Well it looks like we may have some additional excitement on our hands.

Jason Siska
yeah ive been told theyre gonna 4-3-2 to corinne
assuming me as a part of the 7

Rob
so pg, eliza abi and baylor vote corinne
u alex coach vote me
and me and corinne vote whoever

Jason Siska
yes

So the proposal to Abi is Corinne, Siska, Abi and I vote PG. And here is Abi's response

Abi
If so do it and see what happens, u got nothing to lose.

*exhales* its so hard to work with people sometimes. Now I am faced with a dilemma. Siska says he won't vote with us if Abi doesn't give a straight answer. And Abi won't give a straight answer. Corinne is all but dead. The only question is. Do I die with her in a last act of defiance? Or do I act like the dog that I am, do what I am told and vote Corinne. Decisions ...

[Rob Cesternino]

It's 65 minutes to go and as of now I am voting PG.

[Rob Cesternino]

It's 35 mins to go and this is where we are at.

Abi
I'll consider it, you and Rob make a lot of good points, your problem is the idol and whether or not they are actually splitting

Corinne
I dont think you have anything to lose by voting PG, you could blame the vote on someone else
No one would ever suspect you and I, they think we hate eachother look at the IC results lol
just now
Jason isn't going to flip if you are just considering it
He has a good spot even if he doesnt flip, but he just doesnt want Pg or Eliza to just take the win
Im not gonna be telling ANYBODY who flipped with us in the vote
they are gonna scramble and freak
and you are a smart player you know how to keep the heat off of you

Abi
Tell Jason I'm on board

which I relayed to Siska.

Rob Cesternino
NoSpeakDeEnglish
Tell Jason I'm on board
dude u here?
please tell me u are here
come on man. I am dancing in excitement here

Jason Siska
I AM HERE

Rob Cesternino
lets do it dude
she's on board
wont get this chance again

[Rob Cesternino]

Tick tock, tick tock. the clock seems to be teasing me with how it appears to moving at a glacial pace. Maybe that's a good thing. Will all of Corinne's efforts amount to anything? This is so freaking exciting!

[Rob Cesternino]

25 minutes left: Siska is 50% in. If Abi gives ANY indication in the group chat Siska is 100% in. Come on Abi!

[Rob Cesternino]

6 minutes left and it looks like this will be all for naught

Oh Abi. If only you would have agreed to it. Could have been a tribal to remember and secure an F3 spot with a good resume to boot. Sigh. Oh well.

[Rob Cesternino]

1 minute to go. No answers. Adios Survivor Warriors. it's been a fun ride.